I woke up midnight of 29th of August ...I felt so much pain in my stomach. I could hardly breathe...then I felt a very deep sadness and emptiness.. I missed him so much and he doesn't bother to call me anymore after work... another more day, its gonna be a week of coldness (breaking the record) ... I don't know what I have done wrong... though I ruined everything before the week ends last week. I felt like, I was thrown to a very dark place now, I’m crying and I couldn't see anything... I'm paying hard for being stubborn and for changing my moods every minute ... I have so much things on my mind...so much of demands...but why?! Can I not just leave things on its own and just be happy for every moment I have him? why I'm pushing myself to feel secure, if the reality is the other way.., why I'm thinking of a great ending? knowing that I'm already ruining somebody’s FUTURE and LIFE ... I'm so thirsty for his ATTENTION, why?!